


Stomach Tied in Knots

by ThatOneAwkwardFangirl_Liz_Cecil



Series: it all works out in time [12]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Eventual Fluff, Gay Disaster Tsukishima Kei, Genderfluid Yamaguchi Tadashi, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Light Angst, Literal Sleeping Together, Mutual Pining, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining Tsukishima Kei, Post-Canon, Sharing a Bed, Transphobia, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Tsukishima Kei is a Supportive Friend, Yamaguchi Tadashi Protection Squad, that might be my favorite tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-05-20 19:29:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19383253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneAwkwardFangirl_Liz_Cecil/pseuds/ThatOneAwkwardFangirl_Liz_Cecil
Summary: Listen, I'm a slut for TsukkiYama. I'm also a slut for past KuroTsukki (but strictly past). So uh. Take this.Also: even though Tsukki has a crush on Yamaguchi who is genderfluid, he liked him before he came out, so Tsukki still identifies as gay. He already liked Yamaguchi, so he still likes him, regardless of the day's gender. I took that from my own personal experience as a lesbian dating someone nonbinary (technically we're both nb) and knowing that even if they decided they were a guy or anything, I would continue to love them, because I already love them, and nothing's going to change that. Okay. Now, have fun reading!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I'm a slut for TsukkiYama. I'm also a slut for past KuroTsukki (but strictly past). So uh. Take this.
> 
> Also: even though Tsukki has a crush on Yamaguchi who is genderfluid, he liked him before he came out, so Tsukki still identifies as gay. He already liked Yamaguchi, so he still likes him, regardless of the day's gender. I took that from my own personal experience as a lesbian dating someone nonbinary (technically we're both nb) and knowing that even if they decided they were a guy or anything, I would continue to love them, because I already love them, and nothing's going to change that. Okay. Now, have fun reading!

“Okay, Tsukki, you gotta keep your eyes closed!” Yamaguchi reminded him for the fifth time.

“Yamaguchi, I’ve seen you change your clothes like a million times,” Kei said impatiently. “This is ridiculous.” But he kept his eyes squeezed shut regardless.

There was more shuffling around, and finally, “Okay, Tsukki!”

Tsukishima opened his eyes, but Yamaguchi wasn’t in front of him. He turned, and then he started choking on air.

“Jesus, what are you wearing?!”

Yamaguchi turned red. “It – I – ah!” It was a knee-length black skirt, and a short-sleeved pink button down. “Does it look bad?”

“N-no! Oh my god! You! No! Bad is not the right word!” Tsukishima stammered before averting his eyes. “It’s – ah – I think it’s cute.”

Yamaguchi beamed at him. “Oh, really?! Thank you, Tsukki!” He lunged forward and seized Kei in a rib-cracking hug. “I was so scared you’d freak out!”

“I am freaking out,” Tsukishima coughed, prying himself free. “What, is this like a kink or something, or–?”

“No!” Yamaguchi gasped, punching Kei in the arm. “Shut up!” But they both laughed.

“Okay, so what is this? I mean, you do – you do look very nice.”

“I’m – ah! I’m coming out!”

Tsukishima tilted his head in confusion. “You already told me that you’re pansexual, Yamaguchi.”

“I – I _know_! That’s not it!” Yamaguchi straightened his skirt. “I’m genderfluid!”

“Oh.” Tsukishima nodded. “That’s a stupid way to come out, you know. What if I had reacted negatively? That’s dangerous.”

“I knew you wouldn’t though!” Yamaguchi hugged him again. “I trust you!”

“Tch. You put too much blind faith in me,” Tsukishima criticized.

“But you never let me down!” Yamaguchi squeezed him harder.

Tsukishima felt his face get hot. “God, you’re so embarrassing. Shut up, Yamaguchi!”

“SORRY, TSUKKI!” Yamaguchi cheered, lifting him off the ground.

“Tch, put me down!”

Yamaguchi obliged, then smiled at him. “There’s one thing, though…pronouns.”

“Oh, yeah, sure. What are they?”

“Right now, she/her.” Yamaguchi wringed his – no, her – hands. “And I talked to the school… On feminine days, I’m allowed to wear the girls’ uniform instead!”

“That’s – that’s really great,” Tsukishima said, offering a smile. “But – I mean – what will the other guys do? Not everyone is – I mean –”

“Tsukki.” Yamaguchi put a hand on his arm. “I can handle myself. I need this. I need to be me. And I need you to support me through it, because I’m already scared enough for the both of us.”

He nodded. “Yeah. Alright. I can do that. One question?”

“Sure!”

“Your idea of fashion is a shirt that says ‘tacos’, so who picked out this outfit for you?”

Yamaguchi gasped. “Tsukki! That’s mean! And…my mom.”

He laughed. “I thought so.”

“So, are we going to the movies, now!”

“Obviously.”

“Great!” Yamaguchi ran out of her room, her skirt whooshing behind her.

Tsukishima only had two thoughts on his mind looking after her:

One– he was going to fight anyone who tried to pick on her at school, because so help him god, if anything happened to her, he was going to riot.

Two– he was a big, gay mess. This was a big, gay mess. Yamaguchi looked really fucking good in a skirt.

 

Tsukishima wouldn’t say he was _in love_ with Yamaguchi.

No, that would be too easy. See, being in love seemed to imply that he was spending his days watching Yamaguchi do cute things and spending his nights wishing he was there. He didn’t do that, because that would have been really fucking lame. Tsukishima Kei was _not_ lame.

However, he did not do a particularly stellar job processing that he had feelings for his oldest friend. He could admit that much. But realizing that sort of thing somewhere between Yamaguchi falling asleep and drooling on his shoulder on the bus to Tokyo, and after being yelled at by him… It wasn’t an ideal situation.

But there was no way Tsukishima could tell him that. This friendship was actually important to him, and if Yamaguchi ever found out…

That was the end.

 

“Hi, Auntie; is Tadashi ready for school?” Kei asked, standing in the entry way of Yamaguchi’s.

“She’s running a little bit late today,” Yamaguchi’s mother replied. “A little nervous to wear the girls’ uniform on the first day.”

Tsukishima nodded. “Can I see her?”

“Go on up, dear.”

He climbed the familiar stairs and knocked on Yamaguchi’s bedroom door. “Oi! Open up.”

Yamaguchi opened the door and pulled him in before closing it again. “I can’t, I can’t, I am freaking out, Tsukki, I–”

Tsukishima put a hand on her shoulder. “Hey.”

“I don’t know how to tie the stupid ribbon,” she cried. “I’m going to get beat up today, I just know that some guy is going to–”

“Hey,” he repeated, taking the ribbon from her hands. “You’re fine.”

“No, I’m not.”

He flipped up her shirt collar and started to tie the ribbon for her. “Yes. You are.”

“What if some guys–”

“Don’t,” he interrupted. “It’s only the first day. I’d worry about getting shit maybe sometime next week?”

“Dammit, Tsukki, you’re not helping,” she giggled.

“Really? I’m not? Huh. Could’ve sworn you were smiling now and have a tied ribbon, neither of which you had before you pulled me in here, but _okay_ , sure, I’m not helping.”

“Shut _up_.” She grabbed the cream sweater to pull over the button down, then the blazer. “How do I look?” She twirled.

He instinctively looked away. “You look fine.”

“You’re not even looking at me, Tsukki!”

He glanced back at her through the corner of his eye. “You look fine.”

She pulled on the front of his shirt, dragging him into a hug. “You know that I love you? I don’t think I could do this without you.”

“Yes, you could. You just don’t have to.”

“Tsukki!!” She pulled back to look at him. “That’s such a romantic thing to say!”

“No it isn’t! Shut up, Yamaguchi!”

She cupped his face in her hands. “I’ll meet you at school. Go ahead of me, okay?”

“What, you have to do your hair and makeup?”

“No, I just want to talk to my mom.” She shoved him towards the door and then down the stairs. “I’ll see you at school! I love you! Save me a seat! Don’t tell the guys yet!”

Tsukishima walked to school with music blaring in his headphones. Much to his annoyance, his phone was blowing up with texts.

 

**Third Gym Cats and Birbs**

**Brokuto:** GOOD LUCK ON UR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL ヽ(＾Д＾)ﾉ(＾▽＾)(〇*>∀<)ゞ★☆

 **Akaashi:** Thank you, Bokuto-san.

 **Lev:** WOW THANKS BOKUTO-SENPAI!!

 **Hinata:** ahhhhh thank uuuuu

 **Kubro:** Tsukki<3 goodluck today(*^-^) ur gonna be amazing!(*^3^)

 **Tsukishima:** 1) never call me that again

 **Tsukishima:** 2) shut the fuck up we are not friends

 **Kubro:** our lil crow bby is flying the nest into his second year, kou!

 **Brokuto:** I cant believe it myself, tetsu!

 **Tsukishima:** why can’t you morons talk to Hinata and Lev like this? They actually like you freaks?

 **Kubro:** because we love youuu⁽˙³˙⁾

 **Brokuto:** SO MUCH<3<3

 **Tsukishima:** blocked

 

 **Tetsurou:** Hey, are you okay?

 **Kei:** Yea

 **Tetsurou:** Don’t lie :(

 **Kei:** I’m literally fucking fine, Kuroo.

 **Tetsurou:** Did something happen with Yama-chan??

 **Kei:** no

 **Tetsurou:** kei…

 **Kei:** I’m. Fine.

 **Tetsurou:** if you ever need to talk

 **Kei:** I know

 **Tetsurou:** good, because I’m your senpai!

 **Kei:** shitty senpai

 **Tetsurou:** you love me

 **Kei:** hate you

 **Tetsurou:** <333

 **Kei:** tch

 

He looked up from his phone to see Hinata, Kageyama, and Yachi chatting in front of the school. Kageyama and Hinata were already arguing, but he didn’t have the energy to insult them. It was no fun when Yamaguchi wasn’t there to laugh or tell him to knock it off, honestly.

“Hey, losers!” he called, taking off half his headphones.

“Where’s Tadashi?” Yachi asked, grinning at him.

Tsukishima shrugged. “Yamaguchi will be here soon. Running late or something?”

“Mm. Wanna sit together?!” she asked, starting towards the school.

“I’m – ah – I’m just going to go in and save Yamaguchi a seat,” he said.

Her smile wavered, but she shook her head. “Yeah! Tell him hey when he gets here.”

He gave a little salute before walking on. He was itching to correct the pronouns, but he knew Yamaguchi asked him to stay quiet on it.

Tsukishima found a couple of empty seats and set down his bag to save a seat for Yamaguchi. When she finally arrived, he stood and waved.

“Tsukki!” She ran over to him and tackled him in a hug. “Hey! No one recognizes me!”

He huffed a laugh and pat her back. “You’re crushing me, Yamaguchi.”

“Sorry, Tsukki!” She let go. “I’m so nervous!”

“No one even realizes it’s you,” he pointed out. “You’re good.”

Some guy walking past whispered to his friend, “Whoa, Tsukishima-kun got a hot new girlfriend.”

“She’s kinda weirdly tall though, huh?” his friend replied. “And her freckles are weird.”

Tsukishima looked over Yamaguchi’s shoulder and sent a chilly smile to the guys talking shit. They both paled and started to power-walk away. Yamaguchi’s face fell.

“Don’t listen to them,” he muttered. “They’re being lame.”

She smiled again. “You’re right. Thanks, Tsukki.”

 

“Oh, god, there they are!” Yamaguchi pulled Tsukishima in front of her. “Tsukki, I can’t do it!”

“Yes, you can.” He reached back and put his arm around her. _Ah fuck, this is awful._ “You’re already doing it.”

She leaned into him. “Thanks, Tsukki.”

_Kuroo is never going to let me hear the end of this if I tell him._

“Are you good?” he asked, taking back his arm.

She nodded. “Yes!”

“Looks like we’ll be with you this year, Yachi!” he called, getting their friends’ attention.

“H-hey, guys!” Yamaguchi stammered, giving a shy wave.

Tsukishima watched the recognition click onto the other three’s faces.

“Yamaguchi?!” Hinata gasped, his eyes like stars looking at her.

“Hi!”

“Your hair is longer! So cool!” Hinata bounced up and down, and Tsukishima realized that was seriously what he just noticed.

“Thanks, Shou-chan,” Yamaguchi replied, starting to blush.

“You’re wearing the girls’ uniform,” Kageyama said.

_Excellent observation, King, wow, you really are a goddamn genius._

“Are you still playing for the boys’ team, or are you switching?” Kageyama asked. Tsukishima’s eye twitched.

“Still for the guys!” Yamaguchi assured him.

“She’s genderfluid, you unobservant morons,” Tsukishima growled, putting an arm around her. “So, today, she’s a girl.”

“Usually, I’m masculine-leaning, though!” she explained. “Just, today, I wasn’t!”

“You look so cute!” Hinata cheered, hugging her. “In the skirt! With the lip gloss! Wow!”

“Th-thank you!”

 _She is cute, but you don’t have to be all over her like that, Shrimpy._ Biting his tongue and not snapping at everyone was proving harder than he expected.

“You’re so pretty!” Yachi agreed.

“You really think so?” she asked.

“Yeah!”

“I’m so glad you guys are okay with this!”

“You’d better be,” Tsukishima said darkly, tightening his grip around her and glaring at them.

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi laughed, “they are.”

“The school is okay with this?” Yachi asked her.

“Yeah!”

“That’s so cool!” she cheered. “Just let me know your pronouns whenever they change, okay?”

“I will!”

“Are you using the girls’ locker room with me today, then?”

She frowned. “I- I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Well, you can if it would make you feel more comfortable. I was in drama for a short time, so I can change in front of anyone.”

“You almost fainted when we changed in front of you for the first time,” Tsukishima snorted.

“In my defense, I wasn’t prepared!” Yachi protested.

“Yamaguchi, you can change with us still,” he assured her.

“I- I actually might take Yachi up on her offer, Tsukki, but I know that. Thanks. I’m still…I’m still getting used to this! I keep mis-gendering _myself_ and it’s…it’s a whole thing!”

“Just keep us updated,” Yachi told her, giving her a quick hug.

“Are you going to keep your arm around me all day?” Yamaguchi whispered, bumping into Tsukishima as they walked to class.

“What?” He took his arm back immediately. “Shut up, Yamaguchi!”

She laughed and shook her head. “Yeah, I’m not sorry, Tsukki.”

He feigned offense. “Well, you should be.”

“But I’m not,” she sang, skipping into the classroom. “Ooh, new teacher! You know what that means!”

“That I’ll have to deal with being asked how to pronounce my name again?”

She rolled her eyes. “No! We can sit together!”

“Should we inform him of the gender thing?” Tsukishima asked, nudging her.

“He should already know. The school’s pretty chill with that stuff, I think it’ll be okay.”

“Alright. If you say so.” Tsukishima set down his bag, motioning to the seat next to him.

Yamaguchi dropped her bag and sat down. “Ooh! Yacchan!”

Yachi grabbed the seat in front of Yamaguchi. “We’re going to have so much fun this year!”

“It’s just school,” Tsukishima huffed.

“But we’re _together_!” Yamaguchi cheered, reaching across the desk to hug Yachi.

It didn’t bother Kei. Not at all. Not even a little. Especially not since he knew that Yamaguchi used to have a really big crush on Yachi. No. He was fine. Super fine. Everything was fine.

Because _Yachi Hitoka_ was a _massive fucking lesbian_ as well as one of _Kei’s best friends_ which meant he was _fine_!

His pencil snapped in his hand, and he wasn’t even writing anything.

“Nice, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi snorted. She pulled out a spare pencil.

“What’re you all pissy for?” Yachi asked, leaning across Yamaguchi’s desk to face him.

“ _Tch_ , I’m not.”

“You just broke your damn pencil, Kei, so forgive me if I don’t believe you,” she laughed.

He rolled his eyes and regretted the countless hours he’d put into teaching her how to not give a shit. Now she was using it against him. How annoying.

“Sounds like a personal problem, Yachi.”

She stuck her tongue out and turned back around. “Whatever, but if you whine to me about it later, I’ll ignore you.”

“Liar, you don’t ignore anyone,” Yamaguchi reminded her.

“True,” Yachi sighed.

“Class is starting,” Tsukishima snapped before turning forward.

Everything was not fine.

 

“Ha! Beat you again, Kageyama-kun! First win of the year goes to _me_!”

“Whatever! I’ll get you tomorrow, just you wait!”

“You two are children,” Tsukishima growled when he got out of the locker room. “Fighting over stupid shit like that, still.”

Before Kageyama could attempt some lame-ass retort, Kei redirected his attention to where Yamaguchi and Yachi were emerging from the girls’ locker room.

“Ready to meet the new members?” Hinata asked, overflowing with irritating excitement.

“Yeah!” Yamaguchi replied.

“Remember when _we_ joined last year?” he sighed.

“Yeah. Suga-san kicked us out,” Kageyama said, frowning at him.

Tsukishima snorted at the fond memory of those idiots being dragged out of the gym.

“Only because you started a fight!”

“I started a fight? _You_ started it, dumbass!” Kageyama barked.

“Did not!”

“Did so!”

They went to hit each other, so Tsukishima pulled Yachi and Yamaguchi back out of harm’s way, rolling his eyes.

“Idiots!” he called over his shoulder, ushering them into the gym.

“Stop acting like I’m fragile,” Yamaguchi complained, pushing his hand off of her. “I’m okay!”

“No one wants to be caught in the middle of those morons fighting,” he justified himself, turning pink. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“Tsukki! You don’t have to try so hard! It’s…it’s all very weird! But I’m okay! Come on, let’s just get started.”

“YACCHAN!!!”

Two third-years charged Yachi, but Tsukishima picked her up and set her aside just in time. _She’s like a tiny child. Must protect._  Nishinoya-san and Tanaka-san stumbled as they tried to stop.

“Have you talked to Kiyoko-san?” Tanaka asked, starry-eyed.

“How is she?” Noya looked the same.

“Sh-she’s good!” she stammered.

“I already miss her, Yuu!”

“Me too, Ryu!”

The two continued to whine until Ennoshita-san came in and glared at them.

“Enno-kun!” They both cheered.

“Look at you, being the captain!” Tanaka ruffled his hair, smiling proudly.

“You’re gonna be great!” Noya punched him in the stomach affectionately.

“Stop it!” Ennoshita told them. “Has anyone new showed up yet?”

“No,” Yachi told him.

“Oh, Yacchan, good! You’re here!”

“Of course! We have to start working right away, don’t we?”

“Yes! Hi, Yamaguchi-chan, Tsukishima-kun.”

Yamaguchi turned red and bowed respectfully. “Ennoshita-senpai!”

“She told you?” Tsukishima asked, a little surprised.

“Of course. She wanted to make sure I was okay with it. Not that I really see why it would be a problem, since it’s not like it changes how she plays.”

“Is no one going to address Shrimpy and Blueberry beating the shit out of each other outside?” Narita called when he walked in. “Or, what?”

Tanaka shrugged. “I’m pretty sure that’s just how they’re friends now.”

“No one seemed to be hurt,” Kinoshita verified. “I’m just worried they’ll scare off anyone new.”

“Ironic, since they’re also probably who everyone’s coming to see,” Yachi pointed out. “Thanks to winning Nationals, and my flyers, no less!”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes at that. “Right, the King and the Little Giant.”

“T-Tsukishima Kei?”

They all turned to the doors where a first-year stood, trembling in his skin.

“Yes?” Kei replied, suddenly uneasy.

“Y-you’re the one! The one who blocked one of Ushijima Wakatoshi’s spikes!”

He froze. This wasn’t happening. There was no way someone was impressed by _one_ block? “Um, yes. That…that was – yes. I did do that _once_.”

The boy bowed sharply. “Tsukishima-senpai! Please teach me to block!”

Tsukishima looked between Yachi and Yamaguchi, panicking, but they didn’t seem have anything to tell him.

“Well…I mean…we haven’t…we haven’t even set up yet,” he muttered, shrinking back from the attention.

“Oh, right! Sorry! But once the club starts for the year, will you please?”

“Y-yeah, sure.”

Tanaka crossed his arms and grinned. “Congratulations, Saltyshima! You’re a senpai now.”

He wanted to snark a reply, but this kid was looking at him with these big, adoring brown eyes, and he just couldn’t find anything mean to say.

“What – what’s you name?” he grunted.

“Yoshioka Tsubasa!”

His throat felt dry as he tried to remember what he was supposed to say in a situation.

“Nice to meet you, Yoshioka-kun,” Yamaguchi whispered against his ear before slapping his back.

“Nice to meet you, Yoshioka-kun,” Tsukishima repeated, eyes wide.

“I told you that it was totally cool, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi laughed. “I’m Yamaguchi Tadashi.”

Yoshioka had stars in his eyes. “The _awesome pinch server_?! No way! When you played Blue Castle, you scored like five points in a row with your pinch serve! Totally cool, Yamaguchi-senpai!”

She blushed and rubbed her neck. “Ah, thank you, Yoshioka-kun. I’m Tsukishima’s childhood friend – you’ll have to forgive him if he’s a bit of an idiot when it comes to accepting praise.”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi!” he barked on impulse.

Yamaguchi laughed again. “And _there_ is his default. Sorry, Tsukki. Yoshioka-kun, why don’t you help us set up the nets? Sooner they’re out, the sooner that you can start learning this guy’s blocking secrets.”

“Yes! Thank you very much for this opportunity!”

“Tsubasa-chan!” A short guy bolted into the gym and tackled the new first-year blocker. “First day of high school! Did you find him, did you find–?” He gasped. “Tsukishima Kei! Yamaguchi Tadashi! Whoa!” He bowed low.

“And you are?” Yamaguchi asked, amused.

He stood back up. “Sakai Yuuto! I’m a libero!”

“Libero?” That got Noya’s attention, which was Tsukishima’s cue to get a move on.

 

Club was dismissed, and the second-years started walking together.

“I already have homework,” Hinata complained. “What happened?”

“Second year. Things are different,” Yachi told him.

“Wanna work on it together?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure!”

“We could all hang out somewhere, if you wanted,” he offered.

“I’d rather eat a rock,” Tsukishima scoffed, turning up his nose.

“We’d love to,” Yamaguchi countered, giving him a look. She had changed into casual clothes, and it was killing Tsukishima. Then again, when wasn’t Yamaguchi Tadashi killing him by being upsettingly cute? This was just an annoying part of life now.

As they walked, the others started talking about the first-years.

“How about that new setter?” Hinata said. “Aoki-kun has such a cool setup, don’t you think, Tobio?”

Kageyama huffed. “He’s good, yeah. Could use some discipline, but I think he’ll probably end up being a regular.”

“What about Yoshioka-kun?” Yachi mentioned to Tsukishima, bumping into him. “Isn’t he fun?”

“Tch.”

“He admires you, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi said. “That’s so cool!”

“Well, whatever!”

“You’ll teach him to block, won’t you?” Yachi asked. “You have to admit, what you did at Finals last year was _pretty cool_.”

He shook his head. “I only did it once-”

“Stop! We’ve been over this,” Tadashi sighed. “You were really cool, and if you call yourself lame, I will have to hit you.”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi!”

“It’s true, Tsukki!” she insisted. “You were so cool!”

“ _So_ cool!” Yachi agreed.

“How many pretty girls have to say it before you believe it?” Hinata cried.

“Shut _up_!” Heat rushed to Kei’s cheeks as he glared at Hinata.

“You- you really think I’m a pretty girl?” Tadashi asked.

“So pretty!” Hinata gasped. “Look at you! You’re just so! And! Ooh! Wah!”

She laughed. “Thanks, Shouyou.”

Tsukishima – mostly subconsciously – put his arm back around her. “Weren’t we going to find somewhere to do homework or something?”

“Yeah,” Yachi remembered before pointing to a nearby park. “What about there?”

“It’s kind of cold for that,” Kageyama pointed out. “What about that café over there?”

“Oh, yeah, that works.”

 

After an hour of studying together, everyone parted to head home. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima walked together, like they always did.

“So, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi crooned, leaning closer. “How about Yoshioka-kun, huh?” She elbowed him in the side.

He rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

“He _totally_ has a big crush on you,” she giggled. “Ah, the eyes of an adoring kouhai. How’s it feel, being the center of his attention?”

“He does _not_ ,” he groaned.

She tilted her head so that her mouth was against his ear. “Are you gonna teach him how to _block_?” she asked in a softer voice. “ _Tsukishima-senpai_?”

He froze in his tracks and stood up straight, eyes wide and face hot. “S-shut up, Yamaguchi!”

She roared with laughter. “God, you’re so easy to tease! This is seriously embarrassing you, isn’t it?”

“N-no! It’s not! Don’t call me senpai!” he stammered, pushing her away.

“No?” She poked him in the sides. “You sure? It bugs you? _Tsukishima-senpai_?”

“Oh my _god_.”

Her laughter started to calm down. “Alright, alright. S _orry_ , Tsukki.”

“You’re such an asshole. Why am I the only one who seems to get that?” he muttered, mostly to himself.

“Wh _a_? Me? An asshole? Never! I’m just sweet little Tadashi-chan with the freckles and the pinch serve and the cowlick! Following her asshole best friend around like a lost little puppy and everyone wonders just how he ended up with an angel like _me_!”

“You’re literally the worst,” Tsukishima grumbled, pushing her again. “Jerk.”

“Asshole,” she replied, pushing back.

“Little shit.”

In lieu of another insult, she just hip-checked him before latching onto his arm. “It was a good first day, Tsukki.”

He looked at her from the corner of his eye. “Yeah. It was.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh I'm so sorry how late all these are. Gotta fight my depression xxkfjid

“Tsukki, keep your eyes closed,” Yamaguchi chided, lightly whacking Kei on the head with the makeup brush. “I haven’t blended or set it yet. You’ll mess it up!”

“Not that I don’t _love_ being your canvas, but you’ve been doing this for thirty minutes, and I’m starting to wonder if you’re pranking me,” Kei muttered, forcing his eyes to stay closed.

“I’m finally on the eyeliner! Don’t even worry about it!” Yamaguchi’s fingers touched Kei’s cheekbone while the eyeliner pencil dragged across his lid, and it was all too much, too close, for too long. “Are you okay? You’re gritting your teeth.”

_Dammit. Too fucking observant._ “Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

Yamaguchi hummed. “Open.” Kei did, trying not to jerk when Yamaguchi cupped his face and used his thumb to pull Kei’s bottom lid smooth for the rest of the liner.

_Why is he so close?_

“Look up. I don’t wanna stab you in the eye, Tsukki.” There was more dragging. “Okay. I’m just gonna do the lashes and then we’re done.”

“Remind me why you can’t practice on yourself?” Kei asked, trying not to sound so tense.

“I dunno…I just feel like it’s harder on myself!”

“It shouldn’t be. You have bigger eyelids than I do, so that should make it easier, right?” Kei pointed out.

“Maybe, but it’s different in a mirror, you know?”

Kei sighed, but didn’t complain anymore.

“Okay! You can look now!” Yamaguchi handed him a mirror, biting his lip with nervousness.

To Kei’s surprise, it wasn’t dark or dramatic, which would have been expected given how long Yamaguchi had taken. He must’ve been focused on precision in order for Kei to have had to stay still for that long. It was more glittery than he would’ve done to himself, but overall, he could see that Yamaguchi more or less knew what he was doing.

“Tsukki, say something, you’re making me nervous.”

Kei shrugged and handed the mirror back. “It’s fine.”

Yamaguchi lit up. “Is it really?”

“Would I lie?”

“Well, okay, no,” Yamaguchi agreed. “I’m glad you like it.”

“You should try to do something on yourself, you know. I’m sure you’d do fine.”

“Maybe,” Yamaguchi sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Whatever. It’s up to you.” Kei laid back on the bed. “How did you learn to do this, anyways, if this was your first time?”

“YouTube, mostly,” Yamaguchi said. “Do you wanna watch some of the videos with me?”

“Isn’t most of the beauty community problematic as fuck?” Kei asked, rolling over to see the screen anyways.

“I wouldn’t know; I don’t follow problematic people.”

Kei snorted. “What would you call our friendship of six years, then?”

Yamaguchi grinned. “A problematic person following me.”

“Tch.” Kei picked up a pillow and pushed it down on Yamaguchi’s head. “Asshole.”

Yamaguchi laughed. “I’m just saying, we do have more control over our social media feeds than people want us to believe. So, I don’t subscribe if I realize someone’s problematic. It’s not that hard.”

“Oh, teach us your ways, Yamaguchi-sama.”

Yamaguchi laughed and pressed closer to Kei to show him the screen. “Anyways, she’s one of my favorites…”

 

**Tetsurou:** nice makeup on insta, tsukki, I didn’t know you wore it

**Kei:** yamaguchi wanted to practice on someone. It looked good.

**Tetsurou:** so you took a selfie and posted it on Instagram

**Kei:** yes

**Kei:** what more do you want me to say

**Tetsurou:** anyone with half a brain cell knows how you and Yamaguchi feel about each other

**Kei:** are you done now

**Tetsurou:** whats stopping you

**Kei:** what’s stopping you from telling kenma, you hypocrite?

**Tetsurou:** touché

 

The whispers started by the second week of school, as Kei had predicted.

What Kei hadn’t predicted was how Yamaguchi held his head up high with only a kind smile. A confidence that he’d been building up for a while, but this was a whole other level.

“Yamaguchi,” he whispered when they walked past a group of jeering third-years.

“Yeah?”

“You’re really cool.”

The brave smile dissolved into genuine joy. “Thanks, Tsukki!”

“You should have Tanaka-san and Nishinoya-san beat them up,” he added, nodding his head to the boys.

Yamaguchi waved him off. “Tsukki, their bigotry and ignorance isn’t my responsibility. I’m not going to pick a fight with someone who’s already made up their mind!”

Tsukki pursed his lips. “I know.”

“I appreciate your concern.”

“I’m not concerned,” Kei lied. “I’m pissed off.”

“You’re an emotionally constipated rat is what you are,” chimed in a new voice.

“Fuck you, Yachi.”

“Sorry, I’m gay,” she replied easily, skipping into the classroom. “But Tadashi, I’m with Tsukishima-kun. You should tell Tanaka-senpai.”

“He…pretty much already knows,” Yamaguchi admitted. “But I’ve specifically asked both him and Noya-san not to say anything to anyone! I don’t need anyone treating me like a damsel in distress. It’s like I came out and suddenly everyone started treating me like some fragile flower!”

Kei cringed. He knew he was doing that. He needed to stop doing that. _Confessing isn’t the only way to lose our friendship._

Apologies weren’t really his style, but he could make this right.

 

At lunch, Kei dropped a box of candy on Yamaguchi’s desk.

“Tsukki?”

Kei just pulled his chair over and opened his bento.

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi repeated, leaning across the desk.

“What?”

“What’s this?”

“Candy, obviously.”

Yamaguchi snorted. “Obviously. Why?”

“For being a bad friend while you go through your coming out process,” he mumbled, taking a bite of his food.

“Oh– _Tsukki._ You’re not being a bad friend. You’re being very weird, all of the time! But not a bad friend,” Yamaguchi assured him, reaching to cover Tsukki’s unoccupied hand with his own. “I know this is probably more of an adjustment for you than anyone else we know, other than my parents, right? Because you’ve known me the longest, and now you have to relearn the way you see me.”

Kei frowned at his lunch. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. But I shouldn’t let that seep into how I act around you.”

“Did you know that you have pretty much perfect accuracy with using my pronouns? Better than anyone else, who usually slips?” Yamaguchi pressed, leaning forward to get back into Kei’s line of sight. “You’re allowed to have a reaction and feelings about this. And it’s okay to talk to me about it! I’d rather you talked to me, Tsukki, than keep it all in.”

“I can’t,” Kei gritted out. _There’s no way to tell you any of the things I’m thinking, not without telling you that I’m in love with you._

Yamaguchi sighed, defeated, and squeezed Kei’s hand one last time. “Then, I hope you have someone you can talk to, Tsukki.” In a moment that cut through Kei’s heart like a knife, Yamaguchi pressed a quick kiss to the top of his head before turning his attention to his lunch.

_You’re going to be the death of me._

 

“Senpai,” Kei began, slumping in his chair in front of his laptop.

Akaashi Keiji looked at him curiously through the screen. “Tsukishima-kun.”

“Can you still be gay…if you like someone who identifies as nonbinary? Or identifies as a girl, but only sometimes?” he muttered, avoiding eye contact.

Akaashi’s look softened into what was almost a smile. A lesser man would’ve started blushing like mad, but Kei wasn’t a lesser man. He didn’t crumble just because a pretty, older man smiled at him. Shut the fuck up, because no, he didn’t.

[He did.]

“Did you like them before they came out as nonbinary?” Akaashi prompted gently.

“Yes,” he grumbled.

“Then, it makes sense that nothing about your feelings would change just because their gender did,” Akaashi mused. “Do you foresee yourself to ever start liking girls or someone who often identifies as a girl after this?”

“Probably not…because I like guys.”

“Then, I think you have your answer, Tsukishima-kun.” Akaashi tapped his cheek thoughtfully. “I think if a guy I liked started to identify as something other than masculine, if I was truly in love with him, it wouldn’t affect my feelings at all. However, I do and always will be attracted to guys. But love, at a point, becomes stronger than attraction, I believe.”

“Bokuto will be thrilled,” Kei snorted.

“Well, Yamaguchi-kun will be as well, but I’m sure you already know that, don’t you?” Akaashi shot back, his flat expression returning.

Kei clicked his tongue and looked away.

“Did something happen?”

“You’re worse than Kuroo.”

Akaashi grimaced. “I don’t mean to pry. You just seem bothered. Why, I couldn’t guess, since it’s obvious to everyone but you how much Yamaguchi loves you.”

“Not like that,” Kei said, “and you sure as hell like to be the pot calling the kettle black, huh?”

“I know what Bokuto-san feels for me,” Akaashi countered. “In due time.”

“Due time would’ve been when you won Nationals, but sure, go off.”

“I’ve had two years, you’ve had seven; what’s your excuse?”

“Eat my entire ass.”

“No thank you.”

Kei flipped him off; Akaashi huffed a laugh.

“Will that be all, Tsukishima-kun?”

“Yes.” After a beat, “Thank you.”

“I told you that you could call me any time,” Akaashi reminded him. “I’m a man of my word, if nothing else.”

Kei rolled his eyes. “Goodnight, senpai.”

“Goodnight, Tsukishima-kun.”

 

Kei woke up to his window being opened. Most people would’ve probably freaked out, but Kei was used to this by now. He pushed himself out of bed and opened his window the rest of the way.

“Yamaguchi?” he whispered, squinting at the blurry form of his best friend climbing up his house.

“A little help, Tsukki?”

Kei reached out his hand and hefted Yamaguchi into his room.

“What’s going on?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Yamaguchi murmured, already turning to Kei’s dresser. “I can’t stop thinking about what those guys were calling me.”

Kei’s heart stuttered. He had heard them too, and he took a lot of it personally. He couldn’t even imagine how much worse it was for Yamaguchi.

Yamaguchi made a satisfied noise when he found the oversized sweatshirt he was looking for and pulled it on. “I knew the words existed, and I knew there was a chance people would say those things about me.”

Kei nodded, too tired to add to the conversation.

“And it’s just playing in my head on a loop, you know?” Yamaguchi made himself comfortable beneath Kei’s covers, and Kei had no real option but to join him.

“Yeah.”

“I know I was the one who said it’s pointless to try and change their minds, but I hate this, you know? And I hate knowing that if I do anything, it’ll just spur them on.” Yamaguchi nuzzled into Kei’s side like it was the most natural thing in the world, and maybe it was. Kei didn’t know anymore – not when it was two a.m. and his best friend was in pain.

“Yeah.”

Yamaguchi opened his mouth to say more, but was interrupted by a yawn. He laughed. “Why does this sweatshirt always work?”

Kei shrugged, fighting to keep his eyes open.

“Sorry for waking you,” Yamaguchi whispered, loosely tossing an arm around Kei’s waist before his breathing evened out.

_This is not good for my health._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoy the hc that Akaashi is the only person Tsukki calls "senpai"
> 
> Follow me on [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/awkwardfangirl6) and scream with me about Haikyuu!! and other shit

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to know when this or my other fics are going to be updated, here's my [July updating schedule](https://docs.google.com/document/d/17YybrlDWgymcxNa75n3d6kOjDeqG9W01OfZ216Qvv4A/edit?usp=sharing)
> 
> Follow me on [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/lovingyachi) and scream with me about Haikyuu!! and other shit


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